homophobia

While reading the chapter on Lesbian and Gay Adolscents I became more aware of what was happening right in my own placement. The sixth graders are constantly fearful of being called "gay" or "homo" and it I just cringe when I hear it. "Particulary painful moments of many gay or lesbian adolescents are hearing an antihomosexual joke or seeing another individual being ridiculed or called some epithet which is commonly applied to homosexual persons" (341). Along with called other students "gay" is the most popular term: "retard." Not many students are aware that their choice of words and slanders can pertain to someone nearby them - in other words, it seems that many of my sixth graders think that everyone around them is exactly like them and so therefore they should'nt be offending anyone other than the student they are "ripping on." It's to the point where in one of my lessons where I was using the etymology of words to teach what synonyms, antonyms, and homonyms mean - I skipped breaking down "homonyms" altogether. After I put the word "synonym" on the board I put a line between the syn(m) and the onym and asked my students to tell me what each part meant and to come up with some more words with the root in it - the students did a GREAT job coming up with symmetrical, antonym (which we covered next in the same way), and so on. When I came to homonym - I just explained and demonstrated what it was because I already heard snickers and laughter about the root "homo." In retrospect - I should have gone over the word "homonym" in the same manner because now it sort of looks like I'm the homophobic one when in actuality I didn't want to get on the topic with my immature students who would take the root word - "homo" and start using it not to come up with more words that contain this root but to use the root to start making insults with one another - which would make anyone who is homosexual in the room, very uncomfortable and embarrassed. So my question then is: when do you avoid the subject to keep from hurting anyone's feelings and when do you confront it and put up with all of the inappropriate comments just to make a point? (I suppose I could have suggested the word "homophobia" and gone over that but would my sixth graders have labeled themselves as such and made this lesson turn even more for the worse?)